Archive for November, 2006

Chinese Checkers with Grandma? *So* not Qr!

Friday, November 24th, 2006

A new article in The Economist explains that all those boys you’re intimidated by when you head out to the local bar are, in fact, butt-ugly:

If you have ever sat alone in a bar, depressed by how good-looking everybody else seems to be, take comfort—it may be evolution playing a trick on you. A study just published in Evolution and Human Behavior by Sarah Hill, a psychologist at the University of Texas, Austin, shows that people of both sexes reckon the sexual competition they face is stronger than it really is. She thinks that is useful: it makes people try harder to attract or keep a mate.

Turns out that our minds are programmed by default to take the least risky (and therefore least adventurous) route. In the case of my Friday night, that would mean staying in and playing chinese checkers with Grandma.

Greg & Eric’s Thanksgiving Pickup Lines

Friday, November 17th, 2006

Give thanks for these incredibly useful chat-up lines:

  • why have turkey when you can have some chicken?

  • i’ve got some gravy for those mashed potatoes!
  • hope you’re hungry, it’s time for a harvest!
  • on your knees, pilgrim boy!
  • have you had your stuffing yet?
  • you wanna piece of my pumpkin pie?
  • i put the “top” in “stove top”.
  • i’ll give you something to be thankful for!
  • you want some white meat?
  • my cock’s like a drumstick, take a bite!
  • i wanna land on you like plymouth rock.
  • i’m gonna break your bread.
  • come taste my cornucopia of hot hot lovin’.
  • i’ve got a centerpiece for your table!
  • i got some rolls for ya!
  • cover me in cranberries and call me pilgrim!
  • come sit at my kiddie table.

and last but not least…

  • on your knees it’s time to give thanks.

Cultural Learnings of Holland for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of America

Wednesday, November 8th, 2006

One foggy evening in San Francisco, some 6 years ago on election night, I was sitting around having wine with some friends, watching election night results come in on MSNBCNNABCFOX and the ominous beginnings of the Al Gore Florida recount kerfuffle taking shape.

I got a phone call around 11pm from one of my friends in New York. “Are you okay?” he asked, frantically, “I heard Bush had sent rail cars to San Francisco and they were going to start transporting gays to concentration camps.”

Perhaps a bit over the top, but the past 6 years have been retarded. The “us and them” debate explodes onto a global level, with Iraq and stem cell and gay marriage marriage equality and civil liberties and and and…

The Democrats are certainly the lesser of two evils, and I’m glad to see a potential triple-whammy of House, Senate and Guberatorial majorities. Word.

We still have a long way to go, of course, before we can flip on Sesame Street and see: